WHY YOU DON’T FEEL GOOD ENOUGH

​Both nature and nurture can impact your self-worth and lead you to experience feelings of ‘not enough’.

First, fear is a protective mechanism, designed to keep you safe. It presents anytime your amygdala perceives there’s a ‘threat’ to your survival.

When you’re at a career crossroads, this could look like a fear of judgement which holds you back from putting yourself out there. Or worrying you’ll fail when starting something new.

The other contributor is your core beliefs, adopted in childhood. Your parents, society and the media influenced these beliefs in your early years of life.

Growing up, did you receive praise for achievement and performance? Your academic results, sports accomplishments, having good manners or people pleasing. If so, you may have developed the belief you need to be ‘perfect’ or ‘successful’ to feel good about yourself.

Even though I still experience moments of ‘not enough’, I’ve cultivated my self-worth and know how to move through it.

Here’s how this shows up at a career crossroads — and what to do about it. 

PATTERN #1 — PERFECTIONISM

The first pattern I see is perfectionism — and as a recovering perfectionist, I know this one intimately. At the heart of perfectionism is a deep fear of not being good enough. It’s striving for perfection or success to validate your self-worth.

As a Type A achiever at a crossroads in your career, this commonly presents as waiting to create the ‘perfect’ plan before taking any action. You could spend hours going down the Google rabbit hole researching potential career paths or trying to think your way to clarity.

These activities are often procrastination in disguise. You avoid action because deep down, you fear failure or are worried about making the wrong choice about your future career. ESPECIALLY when you’ve already accomplished a lot or are seen as successful at what you do.

If you notice yourself in this pattern, here’s the antidote: go for progress, not perfection. Realise no-one is perfect and do your best.

Remember: to fail doesn’t mean you’re a failure. Learn from your mistakes without being self-critical or beating yourself up.

One tool to support you with this is reframing your thoughts. Perfectionism runs on the internal script: ‘If this isn’t perfect, I’ve failed’ or ‘I can’t move forward until I know it’s the right step.’

This negative self-talk stems from your core, sub-conscious beliefs. To work through it, start with awareness. Notice the belief and challenge it.

Then, replace this belief with a more helpful one. ‘I’m a failure’ becomes ‘I did my best.’ ‘I don’t have enough experience’ turns into ‘I have everything I need to succeed.’

Finally, celebrate your successes. Take time to acknowledge your achievements rather than playing them down or rushing to the next goal!

When you reframe failure as learning, you will overcome perfectionism and start moving in the right direction.

PATTERN #2 — OVERACHIEVEMENT

The second pattern I’ve observed is overachievement — basing your worth on your level of productivity. Because when you’re praised or rewarded for working hard, you develop the belief that overworking is the key to success.

You have so much to do and so little time! Anything ‘unproductive’ — sleep, self-care or doing something FUN — becomes a waste of time. For many years when work became a part of my self-worth and identity, I was guilty of this.

For a leader at a crossroads, this initially shows up as a sense that something’s missing at work. You may struggle to stay motivated because external success alone isn’t enough anymore. You’re feeling empty, unfulfilled and end up asking: Is this all there is?

And at times, something external forces you to slow down and reassess your career. It could be burnout, grief or even a relationship breakdown. Often that’s the very catalyst for the crossroads you’re at now.

If this pattern resonates with you, the antidote is to detach your worth from work. This is about your identity, not laziness or doing less. And you don’t need to compromise your work ethic either.

In practice, this looks like learning to say no, prioritising rest and self-care. And by self-care, I’m not talking about bubble baths or spa days (though I love those!). It means slowing down when you need to in order to speed up later.

When you detach your worth from work, you will intentionally design a career that’s both fulfilling AND sustainable.

PATTERN #3 — SEEKING EXTERNAL VALIDATION

The third pattern I see is relying on other people’s opinions to feel good about yourself. You may seek validation by chasing money, status or other external markers of ‘success’. At the core of this is the fear of being judged, criticised or rejected by others.

For some people, this pattern has dictated their entire career or seen them pick a particular path for the wrong reasons. You could’ve become a doctor or lawyer because your parents expected it. Or perhaps you pursued a career in finance for the sole purpose of making money.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with these things. I know I prioritised them for decades. But it IS a problem if you’re basing your future decisions on what you think you should do — not what you want.

As a high-achiever at a career crossroads, this looks like writing off potential career ideas as unrealistic or not possible without exploring them. Or staying stuck in a career that’s no longer aligned because you’re worried what others will think.

For me, the thought of leaving a ‘successful’ career to do something different was petrifying at first. But money was the only thing keeping me there and it slowly started losing its grip.

If you relate to this pattern, the antidote is to start from the ‘inside out’. Ask yourself what YOU want first, rather than seeking the approval of others. After all, you have the right answers within yourself!

One of the tools I recommend to support this is self-acknowledgement. Instead of judging or criticising yourself, focus on self-compassion. Take the time to celebrate who you are — your best qualities.

Here’s a simple daily practice I learnt from my own coach several years ago. Each morning, write down three personal qualities you’re celebrating in yourself. Begin each sentence with ‘I am…’, as in ‘I am creative’, ‘I am courageous’, ‘I am generous’.

It’s normal for this exercise to feel unnatural at first but don’t dismiss it! When I first started, it took me forever to come up with my top three. But the longer I did it (and the more I stepped into my worth), the easier it was to list off my three qualities.

Still finding this tough or feeling self-conscious? Start by acknowledging others in your daily interactions. The slower you are to judge or criticise others, the easier it will be to do the same for yourself.

When you start from the inside-out, you’ll make future career choices from a place of ownership, not obligation.

PATTERN #4 — COMPARISON

The final pattern I’ve noticed is comparison. If you’re anything like me, you feel good about yourself until you compare yourself to others.

One moment you’re feeling on top of the world. The next, you scroll social media and see someone putting the idea YOU had out into the world — or doing something you aspire to do. Then you feel small, unworthy and not enough in comparison.

When you’re at a crossroads in your career, this looks like the LinkedIn announcement about a board position, promotion or new role with the prestigious organisation. Or the person who’s landed the big client, book deal or launched the business you want.

And when you see someone else accomplish the thing you want to do, you tell yourself it isn’t possible for you. Then you fixate on your weaknesses and all the things you think you lack. As a result, you freeze and don’t take action.

If you’re experiencing this pattern, here’s the antidote: make comparison irrelevant.

Instead of doubting yourself, use these feelings as fuel for what you desire. Not only does comparison reveal what you want, it shows you what’s possible.

If others have achieved it, you can too. This is about shifting from a scarcity to abundance mindset and realising there’s more than enough to go around.

Finally, stay in your lane and look for evidence of your strengths and past achievements. Because when you focus on YOUR unique gifts — not your weaknesses or what you believe you lack — comparison becomes irrelevant.

Everyone experiences the feeling of not being good enough at times — even the most accomplished person in the room. If one of these patterns is showing up for you at a career crossroads right now, these are the exact strategies that have helped my clients and I work through it. I hope they support you too!

Are you at a career crossroads and ready to clarify your direction, overcome self-doubt with confidence and create a strategy for your next career chapter?

Click HERE to apply for a complimentary 30 minute consult.

Stacey Back is a globally recognised and certified Career + Leadership Coach. She helps high-achievers at a career crossroads find the work that lights them up, increase their income, impact and create a career + life on their terms. Stacey works virtually with individuals and organisations based across the globe.

#1 — YOU BELIEVE YOU HAVE PLENTY OF TIME

The first way to know you haven’t left it too late to create the career you want is: You BELIEVE you have plenty of time left in your career.

Statistically, if you’re 50 and plan to retire by 65, you still have 10-15 years of work ahead of you. Or 20 + years if you’re still in your 40’s.

But there’s a difference between knowing you have time and believing those years are worth designing intentionally.

Because at this stage, what you want from your career can start to shift. It’s often no longer only about making money or climbing the corporate ladder. You may also want leave a legacy, do more meaningful work or balance it with your health, hobbies or time with loved ones.

Many people are working well beyond retirement too. They want to continue making a contribution or to give back by starting a business, taking on a board role or doing part-time consulting work.

Still, time isn’t guaranteed. I think about my Dad, who worked incredibly hard his entire life and passed away a couple of years before he got to enjoy retirement.

I don’t mean to sound morbid but it’s the truth. Right now you have time, so make sure you use it.

So how do you want to spend this next career chapter? Because when you believe these years are worth it, you will design this next career chapter intentionally — rather than letting time run out.

#2 — YOU’RE READY TO WORK OUT WHAT’S NEXT

The second way to identify you haven’t left it too late is: You’re willing to invest the time to work out what’s next.

But if you’re already busy, it’s easy to believe you ‘don’t have time’ to figure out what you want. So you wait until your latest project wraps, you return from leave or the kids are at school full-time — and keep putting it off.

Or you default to what you’ve been conditioned to do — applying for new roles or reaching out to your network for the next opportunity. It may sound like progress, but the problem is you don’t know what you REALLY want.

Because without understanding what’s missing in your current career or what you want, those issues will follow you to your next role. I see it all the time: Clients who come to me 2 years later at a crossroads, wondering how they ended up in the same position.

And when you’re worried you’ve left it too late, it’s even more essential to act NOW.

This doesn’t have to take a lot of time compared to how long you’ve already been avoiding it. Investing a few months now will set you up for the next 10, 15, even 20 years, so you have clarity on what the next decade or two looks like.

This is the exact problem I help my clients solve — and the structured process we work through allows them to find clarity faster than doing it alone.

Because if you’re NOT willing to invest the time to figure it out, that’s fine — but it’s a personal choice. You’ll simply be standing at the same crossroads in 5 or 10 years’ time.

When you invest the time now, you will work out what you want next in your career.

#3 — YOU TAKE IMPERFECT ACTION

The third way to know you haven’t left it too late to create the career you want is: You take imperfect action.

As a high-achieving leader, you’re prone to perfectionism and may wait until you have the ‘perfect plan’ before moving. And when you’re very logical and strategic in your approach, you can get caught up in research or analysis paralysis and avoid taking action.

But if you’re not prepared to test, experiment or take action, you WILL leave it too late. I know that sounds blunt, yet it’s the truth. And I think it needs to be said more often.

I remember exploring my career options before moving into the work I do now. When it came to setting up conversations with people doing work I was interested in, I really resisted.

Not because I lacked the confidence to reach out — quite the opposite. As an extrovert who’d spent the past decade in sales, I LOVED talking to people! What held me back at first was that my identity was tied up in work.

Because what would people think if I considered doing something different? And who would I even BE without the successful career and work I was known for?

Still I reached out anyway, despite the discomfort. Within a couple of months, this one action alone helped me clarify what I wanted to do next and build new connections with people who still support my career today. If I wasn’t willing to put in the work and get uncomfortable, I would NEVER have built the career I have now.

When you take imperfect action, it will never be too late to create the career you want.

#4 — YOU’RE NOT USING TIMING AS AN EXCUSE

The fourth way to determine you haven’t left it too late is: You’re NOT using timing as an excuse. Because what’s really hiding beneath “I’m running out of time” is FEAR.

The fear of what others will think if you step away from a ‘successful’ career. Fear of failure. Anxiety about throwing away everything you’ve invested into your current career over the past 20+ years.

And with it all on the line, you’re worried about making the wrong choice…

The closer you feel to running out of time, the bigger the fear. Because the stakes are higher and you have more to lose than you did in your 20’s and 30’s.

When I first changed careers and moved into the work I do now, I felt like I was starting again. So instead of backing myself, self-doubt kept me doing ‘busy’ work behind the scenes.

This looked like trying to create the perfect website or LinkedIn profile before putting anything out there. But what actually got results and built my confidence was sharing my work and getting feedback from the market.

Here’s what I NOW know to be true: There’s no such thing as making a ‘wrong’ move — it’s learning. Every imperfect step gives you data that points you in the right direction.

So if you refuse to use timing as an excuse out of fear, see it as evidence you haven’t left it too late.

#5 — YOU’RE OPEN TO WHAT SUCCESS LOOKS LIKE

The final way to know you haven’t left it too late to create the career you want is: You’re open to what success looks like in this season. EVEN if it’s different to what it looked like in your 30’s.

If you’re anything like me, success at 30 meant putting your head down, working hard and striving for the next pay rise or promotion. You were in the growth phase of your career, driven by money, status and other external markers of ‘success’.

Because there’s one clear definition of and pathway to success — and once you’re on it, you don’t question it. Until one day, you hit the ceiling in your current company, team or industry and are wondering where you can go next.

Or suddenly, it feels like something’s missing. You want MORE — and chasing money or titles alone doesn’t cut it anymore. Like me, you could have hit the point of burnout or are finding yourself at a crossroads, questioning what you want next.

As a high-achieving senior leader, that ambition doesn’t leave you in your 40’s, 50’s and beyond — it looks different. What happens is life gets busier with big financial and other life commitments like kids, a mortgage and aging parents.

And once you’ve reached a certain income, title or level of success, your priorities expand. Success in this current season or life stage could look like making an impact, doing fulfilling work or creating room for other areas of life outside your career.

If you’re NOT open to redefining success in this season, you’ll remain caught at this crossroads and risk never creating the career you want.

When I think of the perfect example of someone who has redefined success and is living proof it’s never too late to create the career you want, my client Julie comes to mind. Julie was a guest back on Episode #53 of the podcast, where she shared about navigating a career crossroads after decades as a financial planner and non-executive director.

When we started working together, Julie had already built and sold a successful financial planning business, then pursued another career. She came to me the year she turned 60 to work out what she wanted in this next career chapter.

What she created was a new business mentoring financial planning leaders and developing the next generation of advisers in her industry. In our interview, she talks about her motivations for launching a company at a stage when many people choose to slow down in their careers.

When you know what success looks like in this season and you’re intentionally creating your career around it — that’s the final sign you haven’t left it too late.

So there you have it. The 5 ways to tell you haven’t run out of time to create the career you want. Let’s do a quick recap and use my client Julie as an example.

First, she believed she had plenty of time left. Second, she was willing to invest in figuring out what she wanted next. Third, she took action instead of waiting for the ‘perfect’ moment.

Fourth, she didn’t use timing as an excuse out of fear. And finally, she was open to redefining what success looked like in this current season.

So have you left it too late? Run yourself through the same filter. But the answer is almost always NO — unless you choose it.

Ready to find clarity on your direction, build confidence and create a strategy for your next career chapter? Explore Ignite Your Career.

Apply for a complimentary 30 minute call with me to get started HERE.

STEP #1 — REFLECT

How often do you pause and reflect? It wasn’t until I hit burnout several years ago that I realised: I never reflected on my career.

I’m a natural doer who dives into action, works hard and follows through. And if you’re reading this, I know you’re the same.

Yet, this focus on ‘doing’: planning, strategising and ticking off to-do’s — often comes at the expense of reflecting on successes, learnings or celebrating progress toward your goals.

And at this point in the year when you’re exhausted or disappointed with your results, it’s easy to overlook what you have achieved. Our brains fixate on the gaps, which is why reflection is essential!

One of my favourite quotes by Maya Angelou is: ‘You can’t really know where you are going until you know where you have been.’

Let’s start reflecting on your career by looking back at the first half of 2026. This is the exact process I used earlier this week:

1. What are you celebrating so far this year?

Every January, you set big goals and work hard to achieve them. But how often do you pause to celebrate the milestones along the way? Acknowledging your success is essential for finding fulfillment at work.

Think back to your January goals. What were your greatest career wins and what obstacles did you overcome?

List everything you’re celebrating. Did you deliver a project on time and budget — or land an important client? Have you received a promotion or started a new job? Are you working flexibly, prioritising your health or building your network?

Did you overcome health issues or family challenges? Were you dealing with burnout or a challenging work environment?

Finally, highlight your top achievement so far in 2026 and why it’s important to you.

I’ll share some of mine to get you started. One win I almost dismissed was achieving my biggest year in this business. But my main accomplishment was going all in on my podcast as the main platform and seeing it convert to paid clients.

Why this matters is that I’ve invested significant time building trust with my audience, backed myself to make a decision when the outcome wasn’t guaranteed — and now have the evidence it’s working!

2. What are your biggest lessons from the past 6 months?

Reflect on what you’ve learnt in 2026 and how you’ve grown. Consider the mistakes you made or anything which didn’t go as planned.

Remember: Failure isn’t about the outcome — it’s about having the courage to step outside your comfort zone, try something new and grow. Take a couple of minutes to list your biggest career lessons so far this year.

Is it setting better boundaries, letting go of perfectionism or comparison? Did you delegate more effectively to free up space for strategic thinking? Have you put yourself out there, applied for a new role or pitched for a new client — even if it wasn’t successful?

Once you have this list, identify your most significant lesson. What will you do differently in the second half of 2026 to course-correct or avoid similar mistakes? Write down the ONE change you’ll make and why it matters.

My biggest lesson (and the source of my recent resistance) is letting urgent tasks and client delivery take over the important projects that will have the greatest long-term impact on my business. The one change I’m making is prioritising those projects first because they’ll allow me to scale my work.

One high-performing leader described being “caught up in the hamster wheel of daily tasks and work responsibilities”. Despite his ambition, he admitted to ‘coasting’ in his career — focusing on getting the job done without pausing to consider his goals. This lack of reflection limited his ability to dream bigger and risked derailing his long-term career aspirations.

Through our work together, he did the reflection he’d been avoiding for years, which gave him clarity on his direction. As a result, he transitioned into his desired career through an internal job move. Now, he’s taking ownership of his career and no longer treats career management as an afterthought to his day job.

When you pause to reflect on where you’ve been, you will clarify what you want next in your career.

STEP #2 — REVIEW

Now you’ve reflected on the first half of 2026, let’s review your current situation to clarify what is and isn’t working in your career.

I’ve created a tool called the Career Sweet Spot which is built around four important pillars: your strengths, passions, ideal lifestyle and income. At the centre is the IMPACT you want to make. This includes your purpose — or the ‘why’ behind your work and career goals — and your values, which are your top priorities in life.

By understanding your career sweet spot, you can set the right goals, make the correct career choices, and build a fulfilling, sustainable career!

Let’s use the Career Sweet Spot tool to assess your current level of satisfaction in each area. Then, you’ll pinpoint the ONE area to focus on in the next 6 months to find fulfillment at work.

1. Rate each area on a scale of 1-5 (1 = not at all, 5 = completely) based on how much it’s honoured in your career

Jot down your scores, move quickly and trust your first instinct!

• How aligned is my career with my purpose and the impact I want to make?
• To what extent is it in alignment with my values and what’s important to me?
• How well does it match my unique strengths and expertise?
• Is it a fit for my passions and the work I enjoy?
• Does it suit my current life stage and desired lifestyle?
• How well does it meet my financial goals?

Next, identify the lowest ranked area and highlight it. This is your ONE focus for the second half of 2026.

If you have more than one, consider: Which would have the biggest impact on your career if it improved?

2. What’s one step you can take to move closer to a 5 in that area?

For example, to increase your income, you could negotiate a pay rise, promotion or start a side hustle. If you want to improve your lifestyle, you could create better boundaries around your work hours.

One client chose passions as their focus area, which meant more variety and doing work which lights them up. The actions identified to support this included requesting different projects or clients, moving roles internally or leaving their organisation altogether.

By the time we finished working together, this person had left a 20+ year IT career to launch their own property business, work they’re truly passionate about.

When you assess your current career situation, you’ll uncover the one focus area to set your career up for success in the second half of 2026.

STEP #3 — RESET

Now you know your top focus area, let’s reset your career goals for the next 6 months.

Did you know over 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail by February?

If you’re anything like me, you look forward to a fresh start in January and set big goals for the year ahead. But then your daily to-do list takes over, leaving you overwhelmed — and unsure where to start…

This isn’t due to a lack of ambition or hard work. What happens is life gets in the way and without a clear plan, it’s easy to lose focus.

It’s why I think it’s unrealistic to rely on ONE moment in the year to reset everything. Instead, I believe in having a clear vision, setting meaningful goals and creating a step-by-step plan to reach them ANY time.

1. Clarify your vision for the next 6 months

Because think of it this way: You wouldn’t jump in your car and start driving without knowing where you were going. Your vision is the destination and your goals the roadmap that gets you there.

Imagine it’s December 2026, you’re exactly where you want to be in your career and looking back on the past year. Answer these questions as if it’s already happened:

• What goals did you reach in 2026? Think about the successes you highlighted in Step 1 and what you wanted more of in the second half of the year.
  
• What did you let go of? Consider the lessons from Step 1, such as: the fears or limiting beliefs holding you back, commitments or relationships which no longer serve you, or anything you’re no longer willing to say YES to for the rest of 2026.
• What’s different NOW? Reflect on the focus area from Step 2 and shifts you wanted to make in the second half of the year

2. Define your priority goal for the next 90 days

From what you’ve written, highlight the ONE thing you want to change or achieve in the next quarter. Then ask yourself: Why does it matter? Knowing the purpose behind your goal keeps you motivated and on track — especially when challenges come up!

Now, declare your goal. Write it down as if you’ve already achieved it, by finishing this sentence:

On 31 December 2026, I will have (write your goallist the goal). This is important to me because (insert why).

Studies show that writing your goals down (as if they’ve already happened) increases the likelihood you’ll achieve them. This is because your brain seeks out the information it needs to reach your goals — and discards the rest!

My goal for the next 90 days is to build out a new semi-private coaching program, so it’s ready to launch by the end of September.

Here’s my example: On 31 December 2026, I will have launched the first cohort of this program. This is important because I want to create another way for people to work with me, generate a new income stream and scale without draining my energy.

3. Create some action steps to reach your 90 day goal

How will you achieve it? Write down 3 actions to implement this quarter, breaking them down into micro-steps.

What’s the next best step you can take right now? Highlight or circle your first step and commit to it. Your challenge is to take action on it within the next 2 weeks!

The actions I identified for my goal are to schedule two blocks each week to build out the program, start recording the modules and market the first cohort. My next best step was to schedule the first 2 hour block to work on it on Tuesday morning.

One client set the goal to work smarter, not harder by putting systems in place to become more organised and feel less chaotic. We started with email, the biggest distraction and time suck because they’re reacting to it multiple times a day. Their first step was to turn off notifications and schedule set times throughout the day to check and respond to emails.

When you identify your next best step, you will build momentum and start the second half of 2026 with intention.

So there you have it. 3 simple steps that have helped my clients and I reset our career goals and finish the year strong. I hope this process supports you too!

Ready to figure out what you want next in your career, back yourself with confidence and create a strategy to reach your goals by the end of 2026? Explore Ignite Your Career.

Apply for a complimentary 30 minute call with me to get started HERE.

Stacey Back is an executive career coach, strategist and speaker. She guides high-achieving senior leaders to design careers on their own terms and helps organisations to develop and retain them. 

TIP #1 — COMMIT

You always have a choice about whether you keep putting off exploring what you want — or if you commit and go all in. This mindset piece comes first because without it, you’ll keep making excuses.

A senior leader was referred to me because they were thinking about making a change — but weren’t sure what this looked like. Before we got started, their employer offered them a promotion into their first C-suite role.

On paper, it made complete sense. So they took it, got busy with the handover, and we never proceeded. Nearly 2 years later, they have the title — yet still don’t know what they want next.

In contrast, the client I mentioned at the top of this episode also had a lot on their plate — as a single parent, caring for their mother and currently between roles.

I highlighted that the majority of my clients are employed full-time and have very full lives, so the program is designed to be flexible rather than create more pressure. We’d build coaching actions around their capacity and they are the one who’ll dictate how much time they have to invest.

This person chose to make a decision now, commit to the coaching process and delay their start date by a few weeks. But the main thing is, they didn’t put it off. They’re all in and doing the groundwork while waiting for the job opportunity to land!

I’m sharing these examples because I see this pattern showing up everywhere — even with leaders who’ve never worked with me.

The lesson for YOU is this: When you stop making excuses, commit now and do the work, you will create the career you’re after.

TIP #2 — STEP OUT OF SELF-REFLECTION

If you don’t know what you want next, sitting behind the scenes trying to think your way to clarity won’t help. You’ve got to get out there, actively explore your options and talk to people.

One client found they had more time than ever after a recent redundancy. Yet trying to force themselves to sit at their desk at dedicated times and focus on brainstorming career ideas wasn’t working.

Because when you’re feeling frustrated and uncertain about what you want next, it’s easy to procrastinate — or start questioning whether pursuing a different career path is even possible.

What we noticed is the ideas started dropping when they were out in the world responding to things and interacting with others — not when they were trying to force it.

Instead, we shifted their entire strategy to setting up conversations with people doing work which interested them. THIS is the best way to generate career ideas, build your network and identify new job opportunities. I also encouraged them to change up their environment by working from a café or meeting a friend for lunch a couple of times a week.

I want to acknowledge that reaching out to people can feel uncomfortable. Even as an extrovert with a sales background who was confident connecting with people, I still found it daunting at first.

Because as a high-performer, successful in my career and known for what I did, my whole identity was tied up in work. So what would others THINK if I dared to consider doing something different? And who would I even BE without the title and identity I’d built?

But once I took the first step and reached out to one person, I realised: people are generous and willing to help. That one action alone helped me work out what I wanted to do next and build friendships and professional relationships I still have years later.

One client was resisting ‘cold-calling’ people, so we reframed it to ‘reconnecting’ and started with their warmest contacts, one at a time. This is what separates the people who take action from those who don’t.

Because when you get out and talk to people, you’ll generate more career ideas in one conversation than months of self-reflection alone.

TIP #3 — RELEASE THE PRESSURE

Financial pressure is one of the most common reasons senior leaders abandon the process of figuring out what they want next in their careers. Even if you KNOW you want something different, the fear of leaving a steady pay cheque, the familiar title or security of an established career can stop you before you’ve even begun to explore your options.

One leader waited until the financial pressure forced them into action. Relying on the external pressures of a mortgage, private school fees and providing for their family to create motivation didn’t work. They ended up jumping straight into another role in their existing field not by choice — but because they needed the money.

Alternatively, if you’re in between opportunities and need the income now, finding an interim role is a smart move in the short-term. But don’t use that as an excuse to stop exploring what you want long-term. Both can happen at the same time — just as it would for someone who’s already working full-time.

My client identified 3 options:

1. Use this time between roles to work out what they really wanted
2. Find a bridge job to ease the financial pressure and continue to do this work on the side, or
3. Return to their previous career and try to find fulfillment in other ways outside work

They already knew Option 3 would be difficult in a high-performing role with little time and lots of big life commitments. By the time we met, this person had already decided Option 2 was the way to go — not one or the other.

And I thought this was wise. Securing this role removed the immediate pressure and gave them the confidence to invest in coaching.

Compare this to waiting for external circumstances to force your hand. This is the risk of letting your career unfold without direction — versus proactively taking ownership of it.

Taking action towards what you want completely shifts how you show up in your current role or bridge job. Even if it’s not where you want to be long-term. Because knowing you’re doing something about it changes your energy entirely.

When you reduce financial pressure without losing sight of your long-term goals, you will create a career by design, not by default.

TIP #4 — MANAGE YOURSELF, NOT YOUR TIME

At this point you’re likely asking: How do I find the time when I’m already busy? The secret is self-management, which is different to time management.

While HOW you prioritise your time is important, this isn’t about productivity tips or time management hacks. Self-management is about taking personal responsibility for what you choose to give your time and energy to.

Whether you want to get promoted in your existing organisation, develop new skills in your current role or shift careers completely, the approach is the same. You need to block out small increments of time to work on your career development — and protect them.

I recommend identifying your Daily Big 3 — your top 3 tasks and number one priority to work on each day. Then, treat the steps you take towards your long-term development in the same way.

Think of it this way: Even if only one 15 minute action per week is focused on your long-term priorities, it’s better than doing nothing for 6 months!

One of my clients is a single mother who was dealing with the grief of losing a parent, burnout and navigating a toxic work environment. Anyone in this situation could have decided it wasn’t the right time — but she didn’t wait.

This individual identified her priorities, what she wanted to do next and took action towards it, one small step at a time. Yes, there was some resistance along the way — yet she didn’t let external circumstances determine the outcome.

Twelve months later she’s full-time in her own business, doing work she loves and serving on the board of a not-for-profit for a cause she cares about.

Don’t make it your full-time job

So that’s how to create space when you’re time poor. But what about the other extreme — when you’re between roles and suddenly available 24/7 to work out what’s next?

In this instance, don’t turn it into your full-time job. Dedicate 30-60 minutes a day, half a day a couple of times a week or whatever works for you. However, this doesn’t mean you have to chain yourself to your desk for 8 hours a day!

Another client was feeling quite socially isolated after working remotely in their most recent role. So my advice was to dedicate time to the activities they enjoy and that nurture them too — like going to the gym or catching up with friends while they have the flexibility.

By prioritising yourself, your health and important relationships first, you’ll be better equipped to get the most out of the dedicated chunks of time you spend on your career. Those activities and interactions could even spark new ideas and connections to support your next career chapter.

Managing multiple career goals

If you have a couple of different career objectives, it’s easy to get overwhelmed and not know where to start. But don’t make the mistake of waiting until one is resolved before addressing the other.

Say you’re looking for an immediate bridge job and also want to figure out what you want long-term. Then carve out time to work on them both. Or if you’re thinking of moving into a new career path while building a business on the side, create separate chunks of time for both activities.

When you decide to take action despite the obstacles, you will figure out what you want next in your career.

So there you have it. The exact strategies that have helped my clients and I figure out what’s next in our careers — even if we ‘don’t have time’. Because when you decide to make your career the priority, you’ll always find the time.

If you’re looking to clarify your direction, build confidence and create a personalised strategy to take ownership of your career, I invite you to explore Ignite Your Career.

Apply for a complimentary call to get started here.

Stacey Back is an executive career coach, strategist and speaker. She guides high-achieving senior leaders to design careers on their own terms and helps organisations to develop and retain them. 

There are two different ways visibility shows up for high-achievers, which you’ve likely experienced:

1. Wanting to be visible but not feeling seen

Like the client I mentioned, you’re showing up, contributing and putting yourself out there — yet no-one seems to notice. You’re not getting feedback from your boss, recognised in the room or a response from the interview panel.

I’ve had many moments where it feels like I’m posting on LinkedIn and hearing crickets. Or sharing my work and not getting feedback from the market. Over time, the lack of external validation starts to impact how you see yourself.

2. Having a fear of being visible — even when you crave it

You want to speak up in the meeting, but something stops you. Or you appear confident on the outside while second-guessing yourself on the inside.

As a child, being visible was an authentic part of who I was. I LOVED being in the limelight, performing my own plays and ballroom dancing. Still, I can also remember going on stage, getting nervous and forgetting my lines.

Today, I speak on stages for a living — and that fear still shows up sometimes. But here’s what I know now… If I ever start feeling invisible, it’s because I’m focusing on what others will think, if I’ll be good enough, or whether my presentation is perfect!

So WHY do you feel invisible? Here’s the REAL reason…

As a high-achiever who’s built your whole career around performance, results and external markers of ‘success’, feeling invisible is an internal issue. Somewhere along the way, you outsourced your identity to a job title, company and achievements. They became your answer to the question: Who are you?

And you buried the most naturally visible part of you — your true, authentic self.

When your role feels aligned and the recognition is rolling in, you feel seen and know who you are. But the moment that external validation disappears because your role changes, the company restructures or you’re at a crossroads and questioning whether you’re on the right path — you don’t know who you are anymore.

And that’s why you feel so invisible. Because you can’t be seen by others if you can’t see yourself.

The musician who got up on stage and the creative child who loved performing for people were being seen because they were connected to something authentic about themselves.

So what’s the answer?

Visibility isn’t an external problem that’s solved with LinkedIn strategies or networking tactics. It starts from the ‘inside-out’ by reconnecting to who you authentically are beneath the achievements. Here’s how:

#1 — UNDERSTAND WHAT MAKES YOU UNIQUE

One of the best ways to rediscover who you are is to identify your unique strengths. Think beyond what you DO: Your job responsibilities and the list of competencies on your resume. Consider your natural genius, unique perspective and the impact only you can make.

But knowing your strengths on an intellectual level is not enough. What makes the difference is believing in your value and embodying it. This means internalising that belief so deeply, it changes how you show up, talk about yourself or walk into a room.

Then you can clearly and confidently communicate your value in your career documents, interviews or when networking. THIS is how you position yourself strategically, without convincing. Because you’re telling the truth about who you are.

We unearthed my client’s dormant strengths and who they really are. The musician earlier in life who was comfortable being visible and presenting to a crowd. Then we drew the line between this and what they want to do now.

For example, pitching to a room of executives or articulating their value when interviewing for senior roles in a new field. The same skills — presence, communication and the ability to hold a room — never went away. They’d simply lost connection to them.

When you understand and embody your unique strengths, you become impossible to ignore!

#2 — RECONNECT TO WHAT MAKES YOU, YOU

Another approach is to uncover your personal values. These are your priorities in life, the things that are innately important to you.

Whenever you’re angry, frustrated or upset, it’s a sign you’re out of alignment with your values. And so much of the fear and doubt that shows up around visibility comes from being disconnected from what makes you authentically you.

In a work context, your values help you to assess what is and isn’t working in your current career, set the right goals and make the correct career choices in future.

One client was feeling disconnected from her work, under pressure and overwhelmed from chasing KPI’s and financial targets. Identifying connection as a core value helped her refocus on what she truly cares about: building strong client relationships. This became a clear priority for how she wanted to lead and create an impact in her career.

When you’re connected to who you authentically are, you stop worrying about what others think.

#3 — TAKE IMPERFECT ACTION

While self-awareness forms the foundation, you must follow it with action. Actively seek out feedback from your manager or get recognition outside your 9-5. Sign up for that marathon, pick up painting again or begin a passion project.

Find practical ways to honour your gifts at work. Put up your hand to lead the meeting, organise the client event or outsource tasks to a colleague who has strengths in areas you don’t. And start designing your career around your talents and passions — especially if you’re at a crossroads and working out what you want next.

Of course, none of this is easy if the fear of being seen is holding you back. So DO the thing you’re afraid of! Send the email, speak up in the meeting or apply for that role.

EVERY time I’ve attempted something new — launching a business, publishing the website, posting my first video or speaking on stage — I did it afraid.

To cut through fear, shift your focus from what you’ll get from being visible to what you can give. What do people need to hear from you? And what unique perspective can you contribute to the conversation?

Because confidence comes through courage. When you show up as the true version of yourself and take action anyway, you become more confident over time.

So there you have it.The real reason high-achievers feel invisible in their careers — and what to do about it. I hope this helps you reconnect with who you authentically are and be seen with confidence!

If you’re looking to clarify your direction, build visibilty and create a personalised strategy to take ownership of your career, I invite you to explore Ignite Your Career.

I’m now taking applications to work together in the second half of 2026, with 2 spots remaining. Apply for a complimentary call to get started here.

Stacey Back is an executive career coach, strategist and speaker. She guides high-achieving senior leaders to design careers on their own terms and helps organisations to develop and retain them. 

Question #1. What strategies do you recommend for communicating your values and long-term career aspirations to your manager in a way which feels authentic and constructive — especially when it can feel a bit vulnerable or aspirational?

A US based connection sent me this question via LinkedIn after she attended the Career Planning with Purpose presentation I delivered to her organisation late last year. It’s one of the sessions I ran recently for another corporate client and such a brilliant question, I wanted to answer it here.

In this presentation, I share a process to clarify your personal values. But also HOW to practically use them to make career decisions, set the right professional goals, lead and work in ways which are more fulfilling and sustainable.

This individual shared how she discovered that the career path she was pursuing didn’t align with her values. It led her into the work she does now and since then, she’s kept her values at the front and centre of what she does every day.

So when it comes to communicating your values and aspirations, here’s how I’d approach it.

First, it’s critical to openly share those career aspirations and long-term goals with your manager. The best way to do this is by having regular, two-way conversations with them about your development — not just performance.

This helps your manager build future capability and gets you involved in succession planning. It also allows you to work together to identify how your individual career goals can be achieved and supported in line with the needs of the business.

Second, you can communicate your values in subtle ways which are relevant to your role, team and even how you want to lead or be managed. For example, one of my clients values authenticity. So, she said to her manager: ‘Authenticity is really important to me, so can I please ask you to share feedback with me honestly and transparently?’

Freedom is one of my personal values and a big reason I’ve run my own company for the past 13 years. But when I think back to my time in corporate, one of the best managers I had gave me the freedom to operate my business area and manage my client relationships autonomously — in the way which worked for me.

Of course this didn’t happen overnight. It came from building trust over time and proving I could generate results this way. But the point is, it was important to me and I asked for it.

The reason sharing your values feels vulnerable is because it’s personal. So to ensure what you’re sharing isn’t fluffy or aspirational, shift the focus from you and your desires to HOW this benefits the business.

Always align your personal goals to the organisational strategy, KPI’s for your business area, the company’s mission and values. THIS is how you keep the conversation relevant and constructive.

This person reported back how helpful it was to integrate her values into everyday conversations with her manager. In her next quarterly 1:1 check-in, she pitched a new approach to streamline workflows and improve team collaboration. She not only communicated the benefits to the business, her leader and team beautifully — but found a way to apply her values in action.

Here’s the takeaway for you: When you don’t just talk about your values but live them through the work you do every day, you will create a career that’s fulfilling and sustainable.

Question #2. How do I support a high-performing team member who wants a promotion but structurally the organisation has no budget or next level opportunities?

This question came up in a recent workshop I ran with a small group of leaders. We focused on how to lead effective, ongoing development conversations to support their people’s growth, build capability and futureproof their teams.

One conversation which came up was how to develop and retain your top performers when progression opportunities are limited. Here’s what I suggested:

The first step is to acknowledge their aspirations. There was general agreement around the room that above anything, team members want to be heard. Start by recognising their goals and your commitment to supporting them.

The second step is to manage expectations. Confirm what opportunities exist, the promotion criteria and timing. Then, remind them of the importance of aligning their individual goals with business needs.

The third step is to provide clear feedback on their current strengths, development areas and required capabilities. Then, co-create a plan to help them reach their goals with clear steps and timeframes.

The fourth and final step is to be prepared to let them go. Help them identify suitable roles and projects that meet their career goals. Also, support their internal applications — even those outside your immediate team or department.

Better they move teams and stay with your organisation than losing them altogether!

Here’s the lesson for you: When you invest in your top performers (even beyond your immediate team), you will retain your best people and futureproof your team.

Question #3. How do I balance the juggle and keep taking steps towards my long-term goals when I’m career driven but in a season of life where I have a young family?

A big topic we talked about in the same workshop was how success looks different in each season. One leader shared a shocking confession: ‘I don’t think I belong in this room…’

When I invited him to elaborate, this individual said he’d done a quick Google search and noticed I work with high-performers.

He’d once put work ahead of everything else, including his health and important relationships. But with two young boys, his priorities had shifted. He didn’t see himself as a “high-achiever” anymore.

As with everyone else in the room, I was grateful to him for sharing this reflection, as it opened up an honest discussion about the importance of clarifying what success looks like at each career stage or season of life.

For this leader, he’s no longer living to work. He puts in the effort and does a great job while he’s at work. However, he now has clear boundaries between his personal and professional life.

Success in this season looks like flexibility and balance — and he focuses everything around his family. In the past it was the other way round. There’s no right or wrong.

Another senior leader was at a later stage in his career and heading towards retirement in the next 5 years. This career chapter was all about sharing his knowledge and developing the next generation of professionals in his team and business area. Success at this stage means giving back and leaving a legacy.

Then there was the incredible female leader who asked me this question. Talented and accomplished, she’d recently completed her MBA — all while working part-time with two kids under the age of four! Like many working mothers, she wanted to know how to stay career driven during this phase of life.

Here’s what I recommended.

First, define what success looks like to YOU. Success is different for everyone — and it doesn’t always mean a promotion, leadership or more responsibility. It could be more meaningful work, greater flexibility, or the opportunity to keep growing in your current role.

Consider your whole life — including your lifestyle goals, life stage, personal commitments and current workload. This gives you a more complete picture of what you need in your career right now.

Second, review your goals regularly. It’s important to reflect on your goals, progress and have ongoing career conversations with your manager on a consistent basis. Even if actively pursuing a long-term goal isn’t realistic right now, many of my clients find having clarity on their direction keeps them engaged and motivated.

Third, create time to take action towards your goals and make your career development a priority. Break your big goals down into smaller steps. Ask yourself: What’s the next, best step I can take, right now?

You’re the best judge of how much time you have. But as a guideline, this could look like diarising an hour a week to take the smallest step to upskill. If you’re working towards a bigger goal like a promotion, carve out 15 minutes a day.

To manage day-to-day work responsibilities, I recommend identifying your Top 3 tasks and number one priority to work on the next day. Then, treat the steps you take towards your long-term career goals and development the same way. Focusing on ONE task a week related to your long-term priorities is better than doing nothing for 6 months!

I did an entire episode on this topic, because it’s a question I’m asked so often: How do I stay ambitious without sacrificing work/life balance or time with family? Click here to read the article next.

When you define what success looks like to YOU, you will make progress towards your goals — without compromising what matters most right now.

Question #4. How often should you revise the skills you need for your current career?

This question was asked in response to a point I raised in a recent key-note. I was discussing the importance of taking ownership of your career planning and development to keep your skills relevant and futureproof your career. And the key message I highlighted was that in the changing world of work, we ALL need to be upskilling and reskilling on an ongoing basis.

When it comes to the cadence, the answer varies depending upon your role, level and industry. But as a guideline, I recommend revising your skills no sooner than every 6-12 months.

Focus on 1-2 development areas at any given time, set SMART goals and development actions for that period. This gives you the opportunity to make meaningful progress and measure results over time before working on developing new skills.

However, given the pace of change, it’s critical to review your career plan regularly during quarterly check-ins with your manager or as part of your own self-reflection. This allows you to adjust your focus as you make progress towards your goals — or the skills you require in your role shift in priority.

When you continually upskill and take ongoing responsibility for your development, you will futureproof your career.

Question #5. Where do I start if I’m struggling to identify the skills I need for the future?

This was another question I received during the same presentation and I’m addressing it here because one of the most common challenges I hear is: ‘Where do I even start?’

Begin by doing an audit of your current skills and the skills you need for your ideal future career. The similarities are your strengths or transferrable skills and the differences are your development areas. Identify the gaps between the two and prioritise developing those skills first.

I also recommend talking to people who are already doing the work you’re interested in. Ask them about the skills you need to develop to be successful in that career or role.

If you’re unclear on your goal, want to keep growing in your current role or are still struggling to identify the skills you need, focus on developing critical human skills. Think: critical thinking, emotional intelligence communication or leadership skills. This will help you futureproof your career and ensure your skills are directly transferrable to any role in future.

When you start with the gaps and priority areas, you will develop the skills you need for the future — whatever path you choose!

So there you have it. My specific answers to the most common career questions leaders are asking me in the room right now. I hope this helped address some of your burning work questions too!

If you want personalised support to find clarity, build confidence and create a strategy to take ownership of your career, I invite you to explore Ignite Your Career.

Apply for a complimentary call to get started HERE.

Stacey Back is an executive career coach, strategist and speaker. She guides high-achieving senior leaders to design careers on their own terms and helps organisations to develop and retain them. 

#1 — FIND SIMPLE WAYS TO TEST OUT IDEAS

Start by finding simple, low stakes ways to test out your career ideas. Think about volunteering, board roles and taking on an additional project or secondment at work.

Outside your day job you could start a side hustle, create a new product or service, take a short course, launch a Substack or podcast. Even reading articles, watching YouTube videos and consuming content is a low-barrier way to immerse yourself in new areas of interest.

To explore my interest in coaching, speaking and training, I ran 1:1 coaching sessions and monthly workshops on a voluntary basis and was the MC at a friend’s event. These activities cost me nothing except time — but gave me all the information I needed before ever moving into the work I do now.

And this doesn’t require a big financial investment or immediate retraining either. Consider online programs or short training courses to try out your ideas — rather than jumping straight into a full master’s program!

Before retraining as a professional coach, I watched short 30 minute webinars from several training providers. Then, I did a weekend foundational course with my chosen coaching school before committing to a 9 month certification program.

When you test before you invest, you’ll know if this direction is right for you — without wasting a single penny or putting your career on the line.

#2 — START WITH ONE

It’s important to test out your career ideas one at a time. Don’t try to explore three different directions simultaneously — or you’ll dilute your energy and won’t get a clear read on any of them.

If you have multiple ideas you’re excited about, start with the one that’s easiest to test and validate. Follow all the steps I’m sharing in this episode to fully validate each idea. Run through this entire process before moving on to testing the next one.

I remember speaking to a woman I trained with years ago. As a qualified health coach with a long corporate career in marketing, she was torn between starting a marketing consultancy or launching a coaching business.

My advice? Start with the one you’re most drawn to and that’s easiest to test out. Then fully validate it before moving onto the other!

When you focus on one idea at a time, you’ll get the clarity you need to move forward faster.

#3 — HAVE REAL CONVERSATIONS (WITH REAL PEOPLE!)

The best way to test out a potential career path is to talk to people! With this step, I recommend you have two separate types of discussions with two different groups:

1. Informational Interviews

To test out your career idea, start by speaking to individuals doing work (or elements of work) that interests you. Let them know what you admire about their experience and why you’re interested in what they do.

Explain you’re exploring a similar path and ask if they’d be willing to spare 20 minutes for a short phone call or coffee catch-up to share a bit about their career journey. Make it clear you’re not looking for a job and that you’d appreciate their insights and advice as you consider your next professional move.

Always make these approaches about the other person, not you. I adopted this exact strategy before pivoting my career and business back in 2018 and was pleasantly surprised that all the warm (and cold) contacts I reached out to were willing to share, very generously. As human beings, we love to help — as well as talk about ourselves!

Prepare some questions in advance and during the conversation, make sure the other person does the majority of the talking. Here are some ideas to get you started:

• Talk me through a typical day in your role — what does it look like?
• What do you love about your work and what do you find most challenging?
• Tell me about your career journey and how you ended up in this role?
• What does it take to be successful in this field?
• What other advice would you give to someone in my position?

2. Customer Research

Next, conduct customer research conversations with your ideal target clients. This type is specifically for established or aspiring consultants and business owners who are testing out a new business idea. Before reaching out to potential customers, consider:

Who do you want to serve? Get crystal clear on your target client. Think about demographics (profession, industry, age, location) and their pain-points.

What do you offer? Make sure you can clearly articulate your offer and the benefits of your service. Position this as the solution to your client’s number one problem.

Next, identify 7-10 people who represent your ideal client and invite them to a conversation. During the discussion, dive deeper to understand their motivations, challenges and buying behaviour. Here are some questions to guide you:

• What are their biggest pain-points or challenges as it relates to your offer?
• How about their dreams, goals and ideal solutions?
• What steps have they taken to attempt to resolve these problems or reach their goals — and what worked/didn’t?
• Have they purchased similar services before? If so, what was their experience?
• Would they purchase these services again — why or why not?

When you talk to the right people, you’ll get real-world insights to validate your ideas in a way no behind-the-scenes research ever could!

#4 — RUN VALIDATION CHECKS

Once you’ve tested your career idea using short experiments and conversations, it’s time to validate it.

The goal is to take this career path through a series of questions to confirm it makes sense with your priorities. Here are four areas to check:

• Strengths: Do I have the skills and experience to pursue this career — or the ability to fill any essential knowledge gaps?
• Passions: Do I enjoy this enough to spend the majority of my time on it every day AND to commit to it long term?
• Profits: Does this make sense with my financial goals — and is the payoff worth it? For a business idea: Are there enough people who are willing and able to pay?
• Vision + Purpose: Does this idea align with my lifestyle goals and the impact I want to make through my work?

A senior executive I worked with had several ideas about different career paths they could pursue — from consulting, to starting a gym or wine bar. After walking them through this process, they could easily see which ones were a fit for right now and those which were passions — or endeavours to explore later!

Only proceed with your idea if your answer is a clear YES! to each of these questions. When you run your ideas through these four checks, you’ll immediately see which path is the best fit for this season of your career.

#5 — DECIDE WHETHER TO PROCEED (OR PIVOT)

If you’ve made it this far, you’ve worked through a series of practical steps to ensure your career idea is logical and financially viable. But don’t forget to step out of your rational mind and do a final ‘gut check’ to make sure it resonates at an energetic level too.

Does the idea of proceeding with this career fill you with excitement — or dread? Do you feel expansive, or contracted? Lighter or heavier?

Check in with those feelings because your body carries a lot of wisdom that your analytical mind often overrides. Before committing, this idea needs to resonate at a deeper heart and soul level too!

If the first idea you’ve tested and validated isn’t right — pivot! Take the insights you’ve gathered and apply them to the next idea on your list. And don’t forget to run it through the same process!

When you combine the rational with the intuitive, you’ll make a decision you can commit to with complete confidence.

When you’ve worked hard to get where you are, navigating a significant career move is one of the biggest decisions you’ll face. These steps have helped my clients and I pivot careers, redesign our roles and launch new businesses — while minimising risk along the way. I hope this process supports you too!

If you’re looking to clarify your direction, build confidence and and create a personalised strategy to reduce risk with your next career move, I invite you to explore Ignite Your Career.

Apply for a complimentary call to get started HERE.

Stacey Back is an executive career coach, strategist and speaker. She guides high-achieving senior leaders to design careers on their own terms and helps organisations to develop and retain them. 

STEP #1 — ALWAYS BE CONNECTING

When you hear the word ‘networking’ — what comes up for you? You could picture a crowded cocktail event, filled with awkward small talk and collecting business cards from people you’ll never speak to again. Or sending cold connection requests to strangers on LinkedIn.

But when I talk about networking, what I mean is building relationships strategically with a few key people who can support your career. At the heart of this approach is the importance of what I call ABC — to Always Be Connecting. This is about building relationships on an ongoing basis.

And it’s a practice I recommend at EVERY stage of your career — even if you’re happy in your current role and aren’t looking for a job. In fact, this is the best time to start so you’re not scrambling to create connections the minute you’re in the market!

Think of it like compound interest. The relationships you invest in today pay dividends for years. The leaders I work with who have the most career options develop relationships consistently, long before they need them.

Here’s the key message I shared in the panel discussion: Focus on connection over conversion.

I like to reframe networking as ‘connecting’. For me, this means:

• Prioritising what you can give versus get
• Investing in long-term relationships rather than expecting an immediate outcome

As a senior leader, this first step alone completely shifts whether people want to help — or even think of you when a new opportunity, board position or project presents.

Because when you focus on connection over conversion, your relationships compound over time.

STEP #2 — 6 PEOPLE YOU NEED IN EVERY NETWORK

Once you’ve adopted the ABC approach, consider who to connect with.

Rather than creating a list of contacts, think of your network as a portfolio of relationships. There are 6 key roles and each serves a different purpose. As I walk you through each one, ask yourself: Do I have someone like this in my corner right now?

Role #1 — The Mentor

I’m starting here because it’s the relationship people are most familiar with. A mentor is somebody who’s already walked a similar path to the one you’re on (or aspire) to be on. They share their experience and perspective based on their own career journey — and can help you navigate yours by sharing what they’ve learnt.

Mentors are invaluable for big picture guidance and questions like: How did you manage this situation? And what do I need to consider to make this decision or transition?

One important distinction is that mentors give advice based on their experience. This differentiates them from coaches, which I’ll talk about in a moment. My work bridges both roles, so I’m always intentional about which hat I’m wearing with every client.

You may have mentors you check-in with regularly, or people you turn to at specific points in your career. For example, if you’re taking on your first board role or leading a major transformation, look for someone with experience in this area.

Everyone needs at least one mentor to offer advice and guidance. Even the most experienced executives benefit from the perspective of someone further along the path

Role #2 — The Sponsor

Here’s how sponsors differ to a mentor. Sponsors use their power and influence to actively and publicly advocate for you in the rooms you’re not in. They open doors, increase your visibility within your organisation and put their name behind yours.

They’ll say: ‘You should speak to Stacey about this’, ‘He’s the one for that role’ or ‘Have you considered bringing her into this project?’

Research consistently shows that sponsorship is one of the most significant drivers of career advancement, especially for senior leaders. In fact, in a recent interview with DEI expert Belinda Riley, she recommended it as the number one thing for organisations to invest in. But as individuals, it’s one of our most underutilised relationships.

However, you can’t ask someone to sponsor you before you’ve earned it. First, you need to demonstrate your impact and build the relationship over time. This means connecting your results to the company’s strategic goals and making your achievements visible.

THEN when trust is established, you can have a direct conversation about your goals, challenges and where you’d like their support. If you don’t currently have a sponsor within your organisation or industry, this is one of the most important gaps to close.

Role #3 — The Coach

This is the role I know best and primarily support my clients with. A great coach asks the right questions to help you come up with your own answers. Unlike a mentor, they’re not sharing their own opinion or advising you based on what worked for them.

Coaches are especially powerful when you’re facing a complex career decision, working through a leadership challenge or ready to reach the next level professionally. They’ll help you uncover new insights, build better beliefs and behaviours, and move forward with clarity and confidence.

Every elite athlete has a coach who helps them excel at the top of their game. In the same way, investing in a professional coach supports senior leaders to become even better at what they do. However, trusted peers or managers who listen well and ask great questions can play an informal coaching role too.

Role #4 — The Connector

The connector’s superpower is bringing people together. You’ll recognise this person because they’re always the first to make a referral or introduction. When you mention a challenge, service you’re seeking or conversation you’d love to have, they’ll immediately think of 3 people for you to speak to.

Connectors aren’t always the loudest people in the room — or in the most senior and influential roles. Yet their value is enormous, as they expand your network exponentially. One connector in your network can open doors to dozens of new relationships!

Think about the individual in your world who knows a lot of people and is always connecting the dots. Are you nurturing that relationship?

Role #5 — The Challenger

This is one of the most important people to have in your network as a senior leader — and often the hardest to find.

These individuals challenge your thinking, ask the uncomfortable questions and tell you the truth. They’ll call you out if you’re playing it safe and will warn you when you’re about to make a decision you’ll regret.

The risk as you step into more senior positions is that fewer people are willing to challenge you. You need at least one person who isn’t afraid to ask: ‘Have you thought this through?’, ‘Are you missing something here?’ or ‘Is this REALLY what you said you wanted?”

A challenger could be a colleague, coach or mentor who’s willing to have the hard conversations. I often play that role for my coaching clients. Cherish those challengers when you find them — they’re worth their weight in gold!

Role #6 — The Cheerleader

In contrast to the challenger, cheerleaders are your supporters. They believe in you, champion your work and celebrate your wins.

Cheerleaders talk about you consistently, positively and keep you visible in circles you may not even be aware of. They’re the people who message you to say: ‘That article you wrote was brilliant!’ Or: ‘I saw this opportunity and thought of you — are you interested?’

They’re usually close colleagues, former managers or friends who understand your professional world. I also step into this role for my clients.

On occasion, the role of a cheerleader evolves from enthusiasm for your work to actively advocating for you as a sponsor. Another reason why nurturing these relationships matters more than you realise!

When you understand the six roles that make up a strategic network, you’ll know exactly who belongs in your corner.

STEP #3 — IDENTIFY WHO YOU NEED IN YOUR NETWORK

First, start with a clear intention. What are your specific goals and objectives? Consider your career goals, development areas and how you’d like someone to support you with those.

And remember, any relationship is an investment of your time as well as theirs, so knowing your why is the most critical starting point.

Second, identify the gaps. Who is missing in your network?

Consider the different roles and where the gaps are. Is it a sponsor who advocates for you, a connector who opens doors, or a mentor who shares their experience? A coach, challenger or cheerleader?

If it’s helpful, do a quick audit. Grab a piece of paper, draw six boxes across the page and write the 6 roles in each one. Or if you prefer, list them out in the notes app of your phone.

Then, start filling each box with the name of at least one person who fulfills that role in your network. Which roles are missing? The blank boxes will help you pinpoint the people you need in your network right now.

Next, get clear on exactly what you’re looking for in each person. Consider their professional background, expertise, career journey, leadership style and any personal qualities that matter to you. Ask yourself: What do you want to get out of this relationship?

Third, map out specific contacts. Someone once shared they’d used an internal mentoring program in their organisation and it didn’t work out. This is why I recommend you be selective and directly seek out people who meet your specific criteria and goals.

And while formal mentoring and sponsorship programs are a great place to start, always consider: Who do you already know? And how can you build new relationships?

Sometimes it’s about re-engaging an existing relationship, other times it’s finding new people inside or outside your organisation.

When you pinpoint the specific people you need in your network, you will build relationships strategically.

STEP #4 — START BUILDING YOUR NETWORK

To close, let’s talk about HOW to develop these relationships. I’ll break it down by internal and external networks.

First, your internal network within your current organisation. At senior levels, internal relationships directly impact your visibility, influence and career progression. If you’re only well-connected with your immediate team, you’re leaving opportunities on the table.

Here are some practical ways to grow your internal network:

• Ask a senior leader for coffee with genuine curiosity, no other intention than to connect and learn more about their work
• Raise your hand for cross functional projects or internal committees which give you exposure to other areas of the organisation
• Re-engage relationships that have gone quiet — say with someone you used to work with closely who’s now in a different part of the business

Next, let’s discuss developing your external network. Start with your warm connections — your immediate network. These are the relationships to activate first as trust already exists.

From there, focus on second degree connections — friends of friends or people your warm contacts can introduce you to. Do this before even reaching out to cold contacts. Because an introduction dramatically shortens the time it takes to build a new relationship.

Finally, I want to share my go-to strategy to build effective relationships: informational interviews. I did a deeper dive into this topic in this article, in terms of how to tap into the hidden job market.

For now, I’ll briefly touch on how to use them to grow your network. Informational interviews are informal conversations with someone doing work you’re interested in, to learn more about their role, industry and experience. Once you’ve identified a specific contact, reach out to arrange one.

You can approach this on the basis you admire their career trajectory and aspire to end up in a similar position. People LOVE talking about themselves and are always happy to help! At senior levels, these conversations could look like:

• A senior leader reaching out to a non-executive director they respect to understand their board journey
• One CPO connecting with another at a company renowned for its culture, to compare notes and share insights
• A senior SA or Special Counsel in private practice having a conversation with a GC to understand the transition to an inhouse environment

 Make the effort to keep in touch and nurture each relationship over time. Then when it feels right, you could approach the subject of sponsorship or formalising mentorship. But often, these roles develop informally — which has certainly been the case for me!

When you invest in building your network consistently, you will always have the right people in your corner.

So there you have it — the 4 steps I recommend to grow your network strategically. These tips have helped my clients and I identify the right connections and build long-term relationships to support our careers. I hope they assist you too!

If you’re looking to clarify your direction, build confidence and grow your network strategically, I invite you to explore Ignite Your Career.

Apply for a complimentary call to get started here. ​

Stacey Back is an executive career coach, strategist and speaker. She guides high-achieving senior leaders to design careers on their own terms and helps organisations to develop and retain them. 

#1 — REVIEW YOUR CURRENT STRATEGY

Start by assessing your existing job search activities and exactly where you’re spending your time and energy. Actively applying for roles, searching job boards and using recruiters is only one small piece of the pie.

One client I worked with had been actively job hunting for over 6 months. When we met they were frustrated and exhausted after spending significant time on their job search each week. In fact, it’d almost become a full-time job!

We shifted their strategy to a couple of hours a day of targeted action. In less than a month, they had two clear offers on the table — and the confidence to make their next move with intention.

Here’s the lesson for you: Cut down the time you’re spending on job applications. Instead, redirect 70-80% of your efforts into activating your network, having strategic conversations and creating opportunities. When you move from reactively applying to proactively creating conversations, you will take control of your job search.

#2 — TAP INTO THE HIDDEN JOB MARKET

When I worked in recruitment, we used to say less than 30% of roles were ever advertised. This means a large portion are filled via conversations, referrals and internal networks — before they’re publicly posted.

If you’re only responding to advertised positions, you’re competing in the most crowded part of the market. By this stage, a potential employer has already decided what they’re looking for and is assessing multiple candidates against the same criteria. Often, they’re basing this decision on the last person in the job — or someone currently acting in it.

The bottom line is this: Using your network allows you to access opportunities before a formal hiring process begins. And at senior levels, many roles are created with a specific person in mind. When you tap into the hidden job market, you cut out the competition and access the 70% of roles most candidates never see.

#3 — LEVERAGE THE RIGHT PEOPLE IN YOUR NETWORK

When looking at your network, I like to break it down into 3 levels.

First, your warm contacts. These are the people you know directly — close friends or colleagues, past peers or old bosses.

Second, friends of friends — or people your warm contacts can introduce you to. Think of this as your first and second degree connections on LinkedIn.

Third, your cold contacts — brand new people you meet at a networking event or via cold outreach.

The biggest mistake I see people make is starting with cold contacts first. Not only is this more uncomfortable (and often procrastination-inducing!) it rarely gets results.

For example, I met one client who was frustrated after reaching out to over 50 cold LinkedIn connections over 6 months — with no response. We refocused her approach to a few key warm contacts in her immediate network.

Here’s the takeaway for you: Rather than cold outreach, start with people who already know you. Then get an introduction to a trusted connection in their network. Because when you leverage warm connections and trusted introductions, you start seeing results faster.

#4 — BE STRATEGIC ABOUT WHO YOU CONNECT WITH

I recommend splitting this into two categories: people and target companies.

First, create a list of five organisations you’d love to work for and identify at least one contact within each. Start with direct contacts you know working in those companies — even if they’re in a different role or business area.

Have a conversation with them and then ask for an introduction to key decision-makers or someone in your preferred team. Next, look for first-degree contacts who can connect you with people inside those target companies.

Second, consider the people in your network more broadly. Who do you know doing work (or elements of work) which interests you? What about those in roles or industries of interest?

Again, begin with warm contacts or people your direct connections can introduce you to.

LinkedIn is one of the best tools you can use to map your network strategically. Follow your target companies and use the People tab on each company page to find first and second degree connections. You can also search for people via job title, industry or location.

When it comes to connecting, always send a direct message or email to your first-degree connections. With second-degree connections, find a mutual contact and ask them to make an introduction where possible.

The lesson for you is this: Take the time to map the market and align your networking activities to roles and organisations of interest — rather than relying on scattered outreach. When you’re intentional about who you connect with, you will position yourself for the right opportunities.

#5 — MOVE FROM RESEARCH TO REAL CONVERSATIONS

In a recent interview with LinkedIn expert Karen Tisdell, we talked about how to use LinkedIn to find the right people — and take those relationships offline.

LinkedIn is a great research tool, but it’s important to move from analysis into action — and actually talk to people! Karen and I agreed the best way to do this is via informational interviews. This is essentially a conversation with someone about the work they do.

Before contacting someone to set up an informational interview, start with a clear intention. Know the reason you’re reaching out — whether it’s to learn more about their career path, organisation or get their industry insights. Focus on gaining market information or building the relationship — not looking for a job.

When asking for an informational interview, be upfront with your request. Let the person know what you admire about their work or career experience. Ask if they’d be willing to set up a short 15-20 minute conversation (in person or via virtual meeting) to share their insights and advice as you plan this next chapter of your career.

Always be clear you’re not looking for a job — and offer to support them in return. This immediately removes the pressure and makes it more likely they’ll say yes. Also, resist the urge to send them your CV if they offer to circulate it internally.

In the actual conversation, make sure they are doing 80% of the talking. You want to ‘interview’ them about their career history, work experience and how they got to where they are. Go in prepared with questions about their daily responsibilities, what they enjoy or find challenging about their work, progression pathways, and your transferrable skills or gaps.

If the discussion shifts into questions about you or your job search, move the focus back to them. Close the conversation by asking: Who else do you recommend I speak to? Then get them to introduce you.

Here’s the bottom-line: Informational interviews are one of the most powerful ways to build long-term relationships with future mentors, sponsors or hiring managers. Some of my own closest peers, referral partners and supporters started as conversations like this.

These decision-makers will also think of you before they’re hiring — or refer you to someone who is — giving you access to the passive job market. When you focus on building long-term relationships, you’re part of the conversation before roles are even defined.

#6 — OPTIMISE YOUR CV TO COMMUNICATE YOUR VALUE

To close, let’s talk about your positioning on paper.

My first tip is to create one optimised document — or a couple of versions of your CV if you’re targeting different roles. Within this document, identify 3-5 core competencies that make you unique. Under each, list a couple of specific, measurable achievements that demonstrate your impact.

Once you have this master document, the second tip is to customise your resume to each application. Shift the order of your core competencies or add any listed in the job description which aren’t on your standard CV. Spend time here — but cap it at 1-2 hours, not several.

The third tip I have is to limit your use of AI. Senior leaders are spending hours using AI to write their CV or match their experience to each application.

However, the biggest issue I’m seeing with AI is that it produces generic profile statements and long lists of skills or responsibilities which dull down your point of difference. At senior levels, you don’t stand out by sounding the same as everyone else. Instead, highlight your unique value proposition by focusing on the core competencies and specific, measurable achievements that set you apart.

My final tip is to avoid over-formatting. One client used lots of fancy tables, graphics and complex layouts. It looked impressive — but too much formatting causes issues with applicant tracking systems and reduces your chances of success.

Simplify your resume. Use clear headings, bulleted lists and lots of white space to make it easy to read.

Here’s the takeaway: Your CV is a supporting document, not your primary strategy. When you optimise your CV to communicate your unique value, you will stand out as a senior leader.

So there you have it. The 6 strategic moves to help you stand out — even in a crowded market. I hope this helps you stop competing with hundreds of candidates and take back control of your job search. 

If you’re looking for an ongoing partnership to clarify your direction, build confidence and create a personalised strategy to take ownership of your career, I invite you to explore Ignite Your Career.

I’m now taking applications for the next intake, with 3 spots available starting in April. Apply for a complimentary call to get started here. ​

Stacey Back is an executive career coach, strategist and speaker. She guides high-achieving senior leaders to design careers on their own terms and helps organisations to develop and retain them. 

#1 — WANTING CLARITY ON YOUR LONG-TERM DIRECTION

This is the biggest theme I’m noticing right now in my private coaching work with high-achieving senior leaders. It’s also a topic which came up again and again in a recent coaching cohort I ran within one organisation. These employees were from a wide cross section of business functions, locations and levels — from individual contributor to executives.

And the one thing they had in common? Even when they’re happy in their current roles, these individuals crave certainty on where they’re heading. They want to understand the career pathways available and how their personal goals align with business strategy.

In the past, employers largely dictated your direction. This is because career paths were clearer and progression more predictable. But today, roles are evolving, career paths are no longer linear and advancement is harder to plan for.

As a result, this old reactive approach to career management no longer works. The truth is, you can’t sit back waiting for certainty anymore. YOU need to take ownership of your direction!

Here’s how to shift your approach: Instead of asking, ‘What’s the next role available to me’, start asking: ‘What will I intentionally build over time?”

Because when you take ownership of your career, you will clarify your long-term direction.

#2 — SELF-DOUBT SHOWS UP AT EVERY LEVEL

In a recent workshop on imposter syndrome, the biggest ‘AHA’ moment for participants was realising they weren’t alone. Many were genuinely surprised to hear that their peers lack self-belief — regardless how experienced or successful they are.

It’s important to say self-doubt has always existed — this isn’t new or unusual. But roles are changing, success metrics shifting and expectations are evolving quickly. This leaves even the most accomplished leaders doubting themselves.

What it reveals is that confidence can’t come from external validation any longer. A reactive approach relies on feedback and permission — whereas career ownership means confidence is internally driven.

Here’s what to do instead: Shift the question from ‘Am I good enough?’ to ‘How am I choosing to position myself.’

Because when you have control of your career, you will proactively build confidence over time.

#3 — STRUGGLING TO COMMUNICATE YOUR VALUE

I’m hearing many leaders questioning what makes them unique or how to articulate their value proposition — beyond day to day responsibilities. Others are unsure how to position themselves for new internal opportunities.

But here’s the truth: In today’s rapidly changing market, strong performance doesn’t automatically lead to opportunity. And being busy or competent isn’t enough. Because if others can’t clearly see the value you create, it’s easy for it to be overlooked.

Taking ownership of your career goes beyond describing what you DO. It’s about defining your strategic contribution, the specific outcomes achieved and how this benefits your organisation, leader, team or clients. Where possible, use data, metrics and examples to back up these results.

For example, the percentage increase in new sales or profits, the exact amount saved or reduction in risk. It could also include improvements to employee retention or the company’s brand reputation.

When you intentionally position yourself for the opportunities you want, you set yourself up for long-term career success.

#4 — CAREER CONVERSATIONS MATTER MORE THAN EVER

Another pattern I’m seeing right now is that high-performers are craving regular feedback on their potential, not just performance. Yet regular two-way career conversations aren’t happening because both parties get busy — or team members are afraid to ask.

Traditionally, development was discussed periodically. Performance reviews drove progression and managers were expected to lead career conversations.

What’s different now is the pace of change. Leaders are balancing talent management, upskilling existing employees and building future capability. This makes it harder to keep on top of every individual’s development needs.

Here’s the bottom-line: You can’t solely rely on your manager or annual reviews to drive your development. Career development is now a shared responsibility. This means taking ownership by initiating ongoing two-way conversations with your leader about your career goals and development.

When you play an active role in your development, you will take control of your career.

SIGN #5 — ‘FUTURE’ SKILLS ARE NEEDED NOW

When I asked hundreds of participants across two sessions about the skills required to stay relevant, over half mentioned building AI skills.

And yes, AI matters. But I’m noticing some people are reacting to trends like AI — at the expense of developing critical ‘human’ skills. Others are overwhelmed and avoid upskilling altogether.

The problem with both approaches is that development without direction is as risky as not upskilling at all. Taking ownership of your career is about stepping back to assess your current skillset, where you want to go and the capabilities YOU actually need to build.

This includes relevant technical skills (including AI), alongside vital human skills like communication, critical thinking and strategic influence. Because in an AI-driven world, these human skills are essential to futureproofing your career.

When you take a strategic approach to your development, you will keep your skills relevant in changing times.

So, there you have it. The 5 signs taking ownership of your career is no longer optional in the changing world of work. These insights have helped my clients and I take a more proactive approach to managing our careers — I hope they support you too!

Now you know why taking ownership of your career matters now, want to take this a step further?

Take this free career assessment and in 5 minutes, I’ll give you all the tools and strategies you need to get started! Get instant access.

Stacey Back is an executive career coach, strategist and speaker. She guides high-achieving senior leaders to design careers on their own terms and helps organisations to develop and retain them.