4 proven ways to become more confident as a leader
How do you build confidence as a leader?
Is confidence something you’re born with, which only certain people possess — or can you create it over time?
Shifting from self-doubt to confidence is one of the three core pillars of my work — and a common reason leaders seek my support.
Confidence is critical to building visibility, credibility and influence. It’s what helps you speak up in high-stakes meetings, get buy-in for your ideas and progress in your career without second-guessing yourself. Plus, it earns you trust as a leader and strengthens relationships with your team and clients.
Looking back at my own relationship with self-confidence, I see a shy child in the primary school playground. But also one who was confident, creative and loved being the centre of attention when surrounded by family and friends.
In Year 7, one outspoken girl looked at me with curiosity and said, ‘You don’t talk much, do you?’ I remember thinking, ‘But I do!’.
As I transitioned into high school, I made it my mission to put myself out there and share more of who I was. To be brave — even when it felt uncomfortable.
Over time, confidence is something I’ve continued to develop and step into. And you can build self-confidence too. It isn’t an unattainable quality, only available to some!
Do you ever look at someone and think — wow, they’re more confident than me? Chances are, they experience self-doubt as well.
So what’s the secret they seem to have figured out?
Discover these tried and true tips to build your confidence as a leader. You’ll walk away with four ways to overcome the self-doubt getting in the way of what you want!
#1 — BE AUTHENTICALLY YOU
Have you ever felt the pressure to be someone you’re not? I know I have in the past. Especially in professional situations early on in my career.
This could look like toning down your personality to appear ‘professional’. You may present in a way which is stiff, buttoned-up or unnatural — or overcompensate to project an image of prestige or success.
Humans crave connection and want to fit in — in equal measure. But needing to ‘prove’ yourself or acting in a way which isn’t authentic often stems from a place of fear or low self-worth.
Authenticity isn’t a quality easily put into words because it is so unique to the individual. It’s about being who you truly are and not looking to others for validation or answers. Following your own beliefs, values and goals — not anyone else’s.
It also means doing what you want, not what you think you ‘should’ do.
In fact, any time you hear limiting language like ‘I should’, ‘I can’t’ or ‘I have to’, it’s a sign of your conditioning. Society, the media and people around you influenced these beliefs and behaviours in your early years of life.
In contrast, true confidence comes from a place of high self-worth. When you value and trust yourself, you’ll naturally present as and feel more confident.
Have you ever met someone who is quietly confident and grounded in themselves? You immediately warm to them, feel at ease and reassured about their ability as a leader.
Although you may not always be able to explain why, notice how you’re instinctively drawn to those who are authentically themselves. When you’re being ‘authentically you’, you’ll build stronger relationships and show up with confidence!
#2 — USE YOUR INTROVERSION AS A SUPERPOWER
Ever told yourself: ‘I can’t speak up in meetings or reach out to someone — I’m an introvert!’? I’ve noticed clients often associate their introversion with a lack of confidence. It becomes an issue if you hide behind your introversion and don’t put yourself out there.
A common misconception is only extroverts are confident. Well, I’m here to bust this myth!
Introvert and extrovert personality traits refer to how you get your energy — not how confident you are. Extroverts are stereotypically seen as being loud, outgoing and lovers of attention. This is likely because they derive their energy from others.
Introverts find their energy from being in their own company and need time on their own to recover. It’s why they’re often characterised as reserved or shy. But being quiet doesn’t mean you lack confidence.
I know many confident, social individuals — some with big public profiles — who claim to be introverts. I’m an extrovert, very direct and assertive yet still suffer from self-doubt and hits to my confidence at times. We all experience imposter syndrome — it’s part of being human!
If you identify as an introvert, you have two choices. You can use your introversion as an excuse — or your superpower!
As an introvert, you’re a great listener, self-aware and amazing at interacting with people individually. Use these strengths to your advantage by connecting with others one-on-one. Ask questions and be genuinely curious about them and their opinions.
When you use your introversion as a superpower, you’ll connect more deeply and lead with quiet confidence.
#3 — LEVERAGE YOUR STRENGTHS
For many years in the corporate world, the focus was on fixing flaws and poor performance. Companies hired coaches for underperforming employees and to improve weaknesses. These days, I work with organisations to develop and retain their people and individuals investing in their own professional development.
The tendency to worry about your weaknesses and what you lack is part of your conditioning. I work with so many talented individuals who compare themselves to others and feel inadequate. This manifests as self-doubt, imposter syndrome and a lack of confidence.
One client spent years trying to improve her attention to detail because she believed it was holding her back. But through our work, she realised: she’s a visionary, big-picture thinker — and her real value lies in strategy, not spreadsheets. Once she gave herself permission to own her strengths, her confidence soared.
Even our education system is set up to correct our weaknesses, rather than expand our strengths. Growing up, economics, English literature and art were my strongest subjects. But my parents were more concerned about my average marks in maths!
The most successful and self-confident people I know understand and own their unique strengths. They build their roles around their zone of genius — the work they’re good at and love to do. Then delegate tasks to those who have strengths in areas they don’t.
When you leverage your strengths and outsource your weaknesses, you will build confidence as a leader!
#4 — STEP INTO ‘THE ARENA’!
About 90% of my clients come to me saying they want to have the confidence to: share their opinions in meetings, have a difficult conversation or change careers. But confidence isn’t a place you come from. It’s an outcome or result.
What stops you doing the things which make you uncomfortable is fear. Fear is a protective mechanism designed to keep you safe. It shows up any time you think about making a change or move outside your comfort zone.
The way to work through fear is to step into it. Brené Brown talks about ‘entering the arena’. Getting messy and taking action — despite the doubts.
A few years ago, my then 3 year old nephew stood at the top of a hill, ready to start the decent on his scooter. My sister warned him it was steep and suggested he walk to the bottom.
I encouraged him: ‘Give it a go — you can do it!’. To which he replied: ‘Yeah!’ and set off down the hill, eyes lit up in excitement.
He made it halfway down before flipping off the path and onto the grass, ending up with a mouthful of dirt and grass.
Sure, there were tears. But to his credit, he got right back on the scooter. Later, I heard his dad explain ‘You’re fine, this is how you learn’.
I love this metaphor and the lesson behind it. So many times in life, you avoid risks because you fear failure or falling off the safe, secure path. Yet when you step outside your comfort zone, the learning and growth happens.
Yes, you could fall — but as you pick yourself back up and try again, your confidence builds. Confidence comes through courage. When you step into self-doubt and take consistent action, you become more confident over time.
Confidence is an important leadership quality to master — yet many high-achievers struggle with it. These tips have helped my clients become more confident leaders. I hope they support you too!
Want to find clarity, build confidence and create a strategy to take ownership of your career success?
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Stacey Back is The Career Planning Specialist, an executive career coach and speaker. She helps high-achievers at a career crossroads find the work that lights them up, increase their income, impact and create a career + life on their terms. Stacey works virtually with individuals and organisations based across the globe.