6 secrets to confidently negotiate your worth and get what you want
Do you struggle to negotiate your worth — or lose confidence and end up accepting less than you deserve?
I remember walking into my boss’s office, palms sweating and heart racing.
It was early in my career and my first real negotiation discussion. I was about to ask for the pay-rise I believed I deserved based on my performance and financial results.
Despite this, I became tongue-tied and ended up accepting terms I wasn’t happy with. Less than what I knew I was worth (and one of my male colleagues had negotiated).
It doesn’t matter how confident you are in front of clients or speaking about your area of expertise. I worked in sales and negotiated with large corporations every day. A lot of my clients are lawyers and negotiate for a living.
But when it comes to our careers and ‘selling ourselves’, many people struggle.
Whether you want to negotiate a pay-rise, promotion or new job offer, you must know your value and how to communicate it with confidence.
Over the past 17 years, I’ve helped hundreds of leaders secure salary increases and learn to effectively negotiate. And with annual performance review season upon us, I’m pulling back the curtain on my biggest insider secrets.
Read on to discover how to confidently negotiate your worth. Follow these six simple tips to get exactly what you want!
SECRET #1 — KNOW WHAT YOU’RE WORKING TOWARDS
How does your employer measure success? What are the performance expectations? Are there specific metrics or targets you’re expected to meet?
It sounds simple, yet so many leaders I work with lack clarity on this. They assume it’s about hitting certain financial or performance targets — but a lot of people haven’t ever asked! Which means they could be correct — or completely off track.
Don’t leave this to chance!
Because if you don’t know what you’re working towards, how do you know you’re meeting expectations? And if you’re not reaching all required criteria, you’ll struggle to negotiate what you want.
The same applies if you’re starting a new role — make sure you’re clear on performance expectations upfront.
When you know what success looks like, you’ll negotiate with confidence.
SECRET #2 — GET FEEDBACK NOW
Many individuals base their performance on vague or indirect feedback. I often hear: ‘I think they’re happy with me.’ Or: ‘My boss was grateful for the work I did on this project.’
To be in a strong negotiating position, you must know exactly how you’re tracking against performance objectives. Knowing this information also allows you to bridge any gaps ahead of a negotiation discussion.
Get specific, meaningful feedback NOW. Because when you stop guessing and start asking, you will take control of your next negotiation.
SECRET #3 — RECOGNISE YOUR WORTH
Effective negotiation is about putting yourself in the other person’s shoes. You need to be able to answer: Why do you deserve this pay-rise, promotion or new opportunity?
Start by doing your research. Understand what others in similar roles and at your level of experience are earning — and use this data to back-up what you’re asking for. Salary surveys, job adverts, recruiters, external colleagues and mentors are all good sources.
Collecting evidence of your success is also critical. Gather specific examples of your results including personal fees generated or clients introduced. Also consider demonstrated leadership experience or costs saved (for your organisation or clients).
If you believe you’re bringing in 70% of your own workload — what evidence do you have of this? Always use metrics, data and exact examples to support what you’re saying.
When you recognise your value and back it up with data, others will too!
SECRET #4 — CLARIFY WHAT YOU WANT
Before any career negotiation, start by getting clear on your ultimate goal. What is the ideal outcome you want? Then, identify your bottom line — or the minimum you’re willing to accept.
Also, write down the different outcomes you’re after. This gives you room to negotiate and increases your chances of getting what you want.
Let’s say your goal is a $30K pay-rise and your walk-away point is $10K. In this case, a $15K or 20K increase may be outcomes you’re happy with.
In this article, I share tips on how to answer questions about salary expectations at interview. If you’d like more guidance on the best way to ask for the salary you want AND how to back it up with data, check it out next!
And while I’ve focused on salary here, don’t forget to consider other non-monetary benefits that are important to you. Whether it’s the flexibility to do school pick-ups, work a four-day week, or access professional development like certifications or coaching — be sure to ask for them!
When you know what you want, you’re more likely to get it.
SECRET #5 — SEEK TO UNDERSTAND
It’s normal to feel nervous about negotiation discussions. But remember, a negotiation is a two-way conversation. Ask open-ended questions to better understand your manager’s position and priorities.
If they decline or push back on your salary increase request, get curious. You could ask: How did you calculate this? This opens up the discussion and reveals if there’s room to negotiate further.
Ask about the opportunities for progression. Is there potential for a raise or promotion down the line? How much and when?
Take a long-term view, especially if this is your first conversation. You may agree to a review in 3–6 months based on performance — especially if gaps have been identified.
When you treat negotiation as a two-way conversation, you’re more likely to achieve the outcome you want.
SECRET #6 — NEVER ACCEPT THE FIRST OFFER
Don’t accept the first offer — no matter how good it seems! Ask thoughtful questions to keep the conversation open. Stay focused on what you want and the range of outcomes you’re comfortable with.
It’s easy to lose confidence in a negotiation and settle for less than what you want — especially under pressure. If needed, request a follow-up discussion in 24-48 hours. It’s perfectly acceptable to ask for time to consider any offer.
This way, you can reset and return to the conversation from a clear, confident position. When you give yourself space to pause, you’ll stay in control of the conversation.
These strategies have helped my clients increase their income, confidence and negotiate successfully. I hope these tips support you too!
Want help to negotiate your worth and get what you want?
Find out more about my 60-minute Career Strategy Sessions where we can dive deeper into this challenge — or one other specific area you’re needing support with.
Contact me HERE to get started!
Stacey Back is The Career Planning Specialist, an executive career + leadership coach and speaker. She helps high-achievers at a career crossroads find the work that lights them up, increase their income, impact and create a career + life on their terms. Stacey works virtually with individuals and organisations based across the globe.