3 myths about finding your purpose (and WHY you still haven’t landed on yours)
Have you achieved a lot of career success but find yourself asking: Is this ALL there is?
Today, we’re talking about the common misconceptions I notice when it comes to figuring out your purpose, which leaves so many high achieving leaders asking this exact question.
I’ve been thinking about purpose and legacy a lot lately, after my grandfather passed away in September. Not unexpectedly, as it was a few weeks shy of his 98th birthday. Although it was sad, it was also a beautiful celebration of his long life.
This coincided with my 43rd birthday, which always acts as that annual checkpoint where you naturally reassess your direction and why you do what you do. Especially once you’ve hit your 40s!
It reminded me of a coaching client who wanted to explore her purpose, because she’d never landed on what it was or how to determine it.
This client isn’t alone. Many senior leaders I work with are incredibly successful on the outside — but have reached a point in their career where it feels like something’s missing. They’re searching for more meaning in their work or want to make a greater impact.
In this article, I’m sharing the 3 biggest myths I see that hold high achievers back from finding their purpose. You’ll discover a new way of looking at what already drives you, so you can design your career around the work that fulfils you.
MYTH #1 — PURPOSE IS SOMETHING YOU HAVE TO ‘FIND’
I see many high achievers, like my client, treat their purpose as something that’s missing. Like it’s this big thing, external to you, that you have to locate. You could search for the next role or a potential cause, hoping it’s THE answer that finally clicks.
I know because I once did hours of Google searches trying to uncover my own purpose. As intelligent, logical individuals, we try and think our way to it — but it never works.
Because your purpose is already part of who you are. It’s your calling, your inner guidance system. And instead of trying to discover it, the goal is reconnecting to it.
As the eldest grandchild, I had the privilege of speaking at my grandfather’s funeral on behalf of my siblings and cousins. And many of the words I shared to describe him were used by others too.
My grandfather was an incredibly optimistic person, with this infectious energy that could light up a room. He was the opposite of what I call an ‘energy vampire’ and one five minute conversation with him would instantly recharge you.
The point is, he never went looking for his purpose — it was visible in the kind of person he was and his legacy that lives on.
And the same is true for you. When you stop searching for your purpose outside yourself, you will notice and reconnect to it.
MYTH #2 — YOUR PURPOSE IS YOUR JOB
Another common misconception is that your purpose is your job — but your work is one expression of it.
Speaking is part of the work I do — yet even when it showed up in a different context, it still had the same impact. It was such an honour to use my gift of communication to share some special memories of my grandfather, that I delivered concisely around one key message.
Many people came up to me afterwards to shake my hand and compliment me on my speech. My uncle even told me: ‘That was bloody good, you should do that for a living’, to which I replied: ‘Funny you say that, it’s what I get paid to do!’
What I’ve seen is that the leaders who tie their purpose to a specific role struggle when that position no longer fits — or if it ends for reasons outside their control.
Instead, look for the ‘red thread’ that connects your past experiences, career decisions and even what you loved to do as a 7 year old. It’s a concept my guest Karen Tisdell spoke about back on Episode #56 of the podcast when it comes to positioning yourself on LinkedIn. The same idea works here, to identify the different expressions of your purpose or what you want next in your career.
For me, the red thread of communication and performing runs right back to childhood. As a kid, I loved ballroom dancing, performing my own plays and writing short stories.
Back in corporate, I was often praised for my presenting. Today, I speak on stages for a living and find podcasting the most natural way to share my insights.
When you realise your purpose is NOT your job, you will take it with you wherever you go.
MYTH #3 — IT’S A PERFECTLY CRAFTED STATEMENT
Many leaders I’ve worked with have tried hard to define their purpose. But what I’ve observed is your purpose is lived and felt, not something you write down. It shows up as the impact you have on others.
Think of it like the company that spends thousands of dollars on a mission statement or corporate values. Some stay plastered to the wall or abandoned in a forgotten drawer. Other organisations demonstrate those values in action.
Pay attention to how you make people feel. What do you hear them say after spending time with you? Others often see your purpose before you do.
During a recent catch-up, one friend shared she always comes away from our conversations feeling motivated and inspired, with a new perspective. And that’s the exact feedback I hear from clients in private coaching sessions and people who attend my keynotes and workshops.
This is why I do what I do. It gives me a sense of fulfilment and meaning. And it’s the impact I have on others, which is part of my legacy too.
Personally, I never connected with the idea of creating a ‘life purpose statement,’ which was one of the concepts first introduced to me in my coaching certification program. As I shared in a past episode on purpose, clarifying my personal values was the game-changer!
Your values help you understand what’s important to you and the impact you want to make through your work.
Early in our coaching, the client I mentioned at the top of this episode uncovered the value of connection. This helped her realise what was missing in her life and past positions. She shared that this has already had a profound impact, as she hadn’t realised it was such a priority before.
As a result, she’s started catching up with friends more regularly outside work and expanding her professional network. She’s also now considering careers focused on developing others or with greater human interaction. By doing so, she’s building a career and life aligned to her purpose.
When you focus on your values and the impact you have on others, you will recognise your purpose.
My mission is to help you see a better way and create your career by design. This means defining success on your terms and creating work around your life — not the other way round.
The result is a career that fulfils you, beyond what you’re simply qualified to do. Work you’re good at, enjoy and get paid well for.
So there you have it — the 3 biggest myths that hold high achievers back from finding their purpose. These insights have helped my clients and I discover a new way of looking at what already drives us. I hope they support you too!